Things That Leave you Speechless.

In my opinion, poems are organized mess of spilling emotions.

Roses.

A rose? you ask.
A rose indeed.
A rose? you ask.
A rose, indeed.

What kind of rose may it be? you ask.
The rose we give in love,
or the rose we give in vain?
The rose we give in affection,
or the one we do in despite?
The rose we give in wish,
or the rose we give in secret?

Or, does it have a meaning at all?
might it be the rose we find,
asking, waiting to be given its meaning to exist?
Ah! The last kin it is, is it?
Then meaning, we shall give!

Say, rose, what would you like to be?
The symbol or love? Beauty? Respect? Admiration? Desire?
Even better, a Death wish?
What wonderful choices we have!
And it's all in the color.




Meaning, meaning, meaning.
We must all have a meaning to be.
We mustn't exist without one, never!
Instead, we shall lose our minds trying to find it.

But why must there be a rose? You cry.
I smile.
A smile that doesn't have a meaning;
it isn't a coy smile with a reason.
Perhaps it isn't a smile at all, since it's too busy looking for a reason to exist.


The prettiest part of a rose are its thorns, you see.
It just is, no need for a reason.
Yet I love you, with no reason.
Might that not be love at all, then?

So it isn't. No such thing as love.
Allow me, to hand you this rose.

How to Break Your Scientific Mind.

I am a Mathematician.
Which, by definition, makes me a 'logical' person in ways of solving problems. Even in life situations.
This approach in life causes several dilemmas, as I happen to also be an artist.

Singing, dancing, writing and painting often neglects 'logics' and prefer 'insanity'.
So what does one do, exactly, to break out of one's 'Scientific Mind'?


I'm sure there are books and articles by the bucket that tell you, but I wanted to share what I did when I was younger to do so.
It isn't hard;
you are able to take advantage of your logical side in trying to break out of yourself.
Now, if you are ready, read onwards!




"Prove 2+2=5"




There are no rules; you may use any logic and reasoning, also assumptions to prove this.
It's quite fun, actually.
I think I wrote a full 6-page reasoning/written work in doing this. Unfortunately, I cannot find it.

If you can prove yourself in doing this, you are well on your way to having a hybrid Scientific-Art mind.
And if you come up with one you are excited about, do show me; I do enjoy creative problem solving.

xx
AJ

The Night is Gorgeous.

I often find myself awake at inconvenient hours of the night.
By that, I mean most are asleep, including forms of valid transports.
And it happens to be the favorite hours of creepy men to lurk.

What do I do in the night, you may ask?
Here are several of my favorite things to do.

• Going for a run- It's such a freedom to run for ever with no one around
• Studying- Less Distraction = Efficiency goes up.
• Art-ing - This is anything from writing, painting, singing, dancing. I seem to be much more creative at night.
• Make a list of To Do's - quite self-explanatory.
• Watch a movie- An emotional movie, that is. I prefer others not see myself at a state that requires explanation.
• Learn things- I often research things at night, purely out of curiosity. There are so many things that interest me, but only briefly explained by profs in lectures.
  

It probably isn't healthy, but I feel like I get much more 'mileage' from my days this way.


xx
AJ

Cravings.

I crave kindness.
Being appreciated.
Sleep.
Comfort.
Life without paranoia.

(And real food.)

I'm not sure why I always end up surrounding myself in people who do not appreciate my presence. It seems to follow me every time.

I wish for a new start.



If it swallows you, you shouldn't give in.
If it ignores you, you shouldn't listen.

It's like drowning in yourself.
I need to go sing.


xx
AJ

Things that make me angy.

People who feels the need to justify against everything I say.
Really, is that necessary?

I think it's quite fine to enjoy things you may find boring.
So please don't bash all of my opinions,
and please don't feel the need to bloody justify why I shouldn't find certain things amusing,
or enjoy a show you find extremely boring,
or enjoy music you find 'horrible.
Savvy?

xx
AJ

What does insanity look like?
One should always have an unanswered question in mind.
xx
AJ

Connections.

I often find myself thinking too much,
or am writing an essay in my head.

Unfortunately, they are things that will never be asked to be written on in English classes. They are just fragments of my mind, and what I want to scream out to the world.
Those are the topics I would like to give a speech to the world on.
They are often controversial, and most people wouldn't consider 'important' per se.

They are unstoppable, however.
I cannot not think about them, or stop the pen inside my head which I use to write those essays with.
And they come into my head at such times where I cannot actually work on them, because of its spontaneity and the rate at which I 'write' them. English lectures tends to be my favorite place to come up with these arguments or opinions- and clearly, working on them during a lecture is unacceptable.

It's a funny thing; I come to these points I write inside my head in the most disconnected way possible for most- the way I make connections to the topic through simple things are possibly 'insane'. And my writing style changes every time. (it seems so in this blog as well.)

The other day, I wanted to write a speech called "In Defence of Bananas", which was a comical speech on why people needs to 'study' other people to fully appreciate them.
Bananas because of its denotations in modern society.

Yes, the time indeed was in English, and the topic of the lecture was 'Denotations' and 'Connotations'.
That's how I came up with the speech.
Strange, shouldn't you think?

At least, I do.




Perhaps one day I'll actually follow through with these fragmentary 'writings' in my head and propose to them to the public in some way.
Hopefully there wouldn't be a need to explain my motivations in coming up with the speech.



xx
AJ