Identity.

Is it so strange that I don't want anyone who I know in real-life to know of this blog?
or my other on-line profiles?

I enjoy having an 'identity' with no prejudice, no 'mold' that is pre-made for me already.
Because then, I can be whatever I wish to be- maybe it's pretentious, or fake, but how else am I to know what 'me' suits myself the best?
And, to be able to spew out my thoughts without having people around me talk to me about it, or judge me by it- such a free feeling, that I wish to never have taken away from me. It's a guilty pleasure- from Myspace to blogs, I create a new profile as soon as someone finds it, and attempts on adding me, because I don't want anyone to know the 'self' I create for myself to live.

On-line, it doesn't matter what I am, who I am, what I decide to be that day; there's going to be someone who identifies with me, without questioning why, I just am to whoever it may be that unites themselves with.
And same goes for them; I don't question why, I just take them as they are-after all, isn't it the best feeling? to be accepted for who you 'are' at the time...

I don't believe anyone is a single person, there's more than one side to them- for instance I am not a single person that can be identified; I am an energy ball, I am a suicidal, I am a friend, an enemy, a goth, a prep... the list is so long, I can be everything people wouldn't expect.
And when people see a different side of me, they don't understand.

I don't expect them to, though I wish they could.
I never understand how someone can expect me to be one person, rather than the chameleon that I am.
And, I hate meeting people through someone I already know, because that person that I know would've made a mold for me to fill already- I am already 'made' into what that person perceive me as- a single person.

I think too much sometimes, though, I never feel like it's a waste.

xx
AJ

Opinions.

Well, so. I happen to have a group of friends who are rather intelligent.
And I'm clearly attracted to intelligence in people, however, it is NOT okay when they bash the way I feel about certain things.
So maybe I'm fascinated by things that aren't 'new' or particularly 'interesting' because there are so much better things in the world that happens already, and there are so much flaw to the information- maybe there's a different way they could've done the operation that would have been much more efficient, or maybe they don't understand the whole point in something happening.

Well, FUCK THAT.
I'll be fascinated by whatever the god damn hell I wish to be fascinated by.
I don't care what you find wrong in the doings, it's still fascinating to me.
And I'll have my rights to my opinion.

They're such hypocrites.

xx
AJ

Lists.

One of my thing.
Making lists of absolutely EVERYTHING.
I've been failing to make them in the past time I've spent in school- a very good reason why I may not be as efficient as I want to be...
What's interesting is, that even if I decide that I only study for 2 hours a day, and sleep for 9 hours, hang out with friends for 6... and such, (AKA very, VERY slack schedule) I can still fit in 2 hours of exercise.
So, why haven't I done this?

Funny how much time you let your life take, when it can be done so much more efficiently...

If anyone else is interested in seeing how you spend your day- http://www.studygs.net/schedule/
I enjoy it.

xx
AJ

Veggies.

Are so. SO. Amazing.
It is the only food I do not feel sick after consuming. Especially raw.
Oh, man.
Food is good.

xx
AJ

Oh, you know. I'm a student. I'm meant to be in class.

I went to a private school. A very structured private school.
It was a good school for sure, but what did it not teach us?

What to do with freedom.

I was a student, never missed a single class, straight A's, and cried when I got a 85 on a test. (except for English. that class was a waste of time) I would study for 9 hours, straight, on a Sunday. I would do my assignments a week early 'just to be safe', and re-edit my essay about 8 million times. I would pre-read on the materials, and until I fully understood those things inside-out, inverted, twirked.
Along with this, I was the school Tennis Team's Singles Player, on the school Dance Team, a singer. (oh man, I put so much time into singing.) I managed to get enough sleep to go on and do those things, whilst having time to Facebook inbetween.
Oh, and my room was spotless at ALL times.

Except that the school had us scheduled time slots to do all those things, with two 20-minutes break during the day, about half an hour of break before sports after class, and half an hour after sports. oh, and 45-75 minutes of free time at night, past 9 PM.
Yeah, talk about organized.

Now that I'm in University, I have managed to 'skip' (though I technically have a legit reason) something like 15 classes, I do NOT get 95's on tests, nor do I try to understand everything that's taught to us inside-out, let alone inverted or twirked, and I am not in dance or tennis.
How the fuck did I get here?

It's called a social life.
I didn't have one in high school. By the way.
oh, and there always seems to be a much funner thing to be doing rather than studying here. And no one really studies here. like really. And so many people skip classes, it's ridiculous.

Though, this whole not going to class thing is starting to get to me, so I think I'll be the straight A-boring person again for a while; it seems to suit me better.
Well,
the whole not getting a good mark depresses me, because it's what I thrived on in high school.
Oh, and did I mention that this girl I grew up with is a fucking genious?
yeah, I hate her for being so fucking perfect.