iCiNG Transformation Challenge

I'm doing it!

My goal is to
1)Eat 100% raw
2)Do something for myself everyday
3)Run everyday


the first one I'm the most worried about... but it seems like something that would be most rewarding of all. This quote from Gala Darling made me take the leap from wanting to type "90%raw" to 100.

"Because the thought of it makes me feel uncomfortable, I know I should be doing it."-Gala Darling

sweet.
I'm really digging this chick every time I read a new post by her!
xx
AJ

I... Want...

Cotton Candy Hair.
Probably neon Purple streaks.
ahhhhh <3

That

'Someone.'

A song; that suit.
He's the flame; the sun.
He found me in the pile.
Or the shelf?

He makes me
Not just,
but a particular- the mirror ball that I play,
but the one I am.
Till then, was I ever?

Soft, darling, sheets,
mmm... music.
He knows well, and how!

He'll hold the door,
and a stun a tux.
He likes roses and the cliche;
both innocent &...

He tells me I'm a 12, in health and sickness.
Covered or not.



Pedestals, pedestals.
That hypothetical place exists in his world;
I'm on it

sometimes.




Like every story, it doesn't.
Though he is mine, I am not his.
Her name hides mine in the shadows;
it's not even the odds,
it's not a question.
Set.Match.
Now walk off the court.

Someone, please, drag me off.

Learning.

So I've been falling off my path lately.
But today after my 5AM workout, I realized something about myself; that I am learning rather than punishing after these 'mistakes' I have made.

So the formula of life has changed.
It isn't what you can take out, but what you can add.

For instance, after a horrible 2 weeks, I have not been overtaken by the worse choices I've made, but rather the 'good' changes I've made in my life- the 30 Day-Trial concept, and also the addition of 1/2 hr singing after my workout-is affecting me more. I am excited for the day.




I have already worked out & sang today, and I am super happy about it.
Singing is, truly, what I'm made of.
xx
AJ

OH MY!

This is amazing.




xxx
AJ

The 30-day Trial Concept.

This is from Gala Darling and I think it's brilliant.
So the concept is to take what you don't like about your daily routine, and change it for 30 days- and if you hate it, change it back, if you love it, well... keep it.
I like this, because I think it gives us a chance to actually look at our daily life and actually do something about it immediately. And yes, I decided to give it a go.

So here are the things I'm not happy about in my life:

1. Sleep pattern: I only really need 7 hours of sleep a day; for some reason, I think I need more, thus I sleep longer. I don't work too well when I sleep so much.
2. Lack of exercise! I haven't exercised regularly in so long!! I don't feel great so I don't look great. This needs to be fixed STAT.
3. Lack of purpose in my day: that sounds like a big point, but it's really simple. I just don't get things done. Work, I do. But longer than due-tomorrow things (AKA e-mailing family, making an appointment...) I seem to be... not so organized.
4. Too high-strung in the day. So I want to do some stretching/yoga everyday.
5. Food habits. Enough said.

To fix this, I have made 2 parts to my daily routines.
I have class at either 8AM or 2PM.
On the days I start on 8AM, I'd like to be up by 6 so that I can go workout for half an hour + >Go shower and all that so I'm refreshed for the day > Grab a piece of fruit/make a GS > make a list of to-do and go!

On the days I start at 2PM.
Get up at whenever I went to sleep +7hrs >Go workout for 1/2 hour+ > Shower > Grab a piece of fruit; it's probably going to be too close to lunch to have a big smoothie. >Make a day-list and go.

Also, before I go to bed, I'd like to do some yoga whether it's 15mins or half an hour. And I'm set.

Today I'm up at 4:00 AM and went for a 45min run- I just couldn't sleep!
Yes I should get some sleep, as I have a biiiig test today, but I can't sleep, so I may aswell get something done.
I think I'm going to wait for my friend to get up for a good breakfast; I'm eating an orange in the meanwhile if I get really hungry.

xx
AJ

Some Love for Myself.

Because I miss it.

xx
AJ

Actually, it Applies to Everyone.

...Unlike many other 'outlines' of what it should be.

"Good sex is feeling good about yourself, about your partner and good about what it is you're choosing to do--before, during and after. And if you can't say that's necessarily true about your sexual encounters, proceed with caution. Because to be fair and true to your partner, that's the minimum. That's your birth right."

2 weeks.

2 weeks.
starting tomorrow.

what, you might ask?
that's a secret...

zweihundertfunfundsechzig.

Yeah it's a word.
a number, actually.
two-hundred-seventy-five.
yee.

teaching myself languages has always been a passion of mine...
well, i think im teaching myself anyways.
and my blog is showing me html. how do i hide it?
it just confuses me to have <>'s and "font-style:italic;" abd such. aye.

back to sudying, I am.
xx
AJ

How to Make the Amazing Breakfast :)

The title says it all; this is my current recipe for the favorite breakfast.

1) Put 2 handfuls of red grapes & green grapes. Remember to de-seed.


2) Add greens- I used Romaine lettuce and Spinach.


3) This part is to put a bit of a twist on your smoothie- I added Spirulina and Grapefruit.


4) Enjoy!

Groceries, Ordering & Wheatgrass Shots.

Being jet lagged, I woke up at 10 PM last night.
And am still up and it's 7:03 am!


Anyhow, so I meditated and had some time to think in my bed, then come 8AM...

I went to Capers!
That place gets me so excited everytime I go :)

What did AJ get today?
She got...
Apples
Grapes
Cacao Nibs
Coconuts
EVCO
Spirulina
Salba (wanted chia, but they don't carry)
Wintergreen Essential Oil
Full Spectrum Vegetable Enzyme

I really wanted e3 Live aswell, but it was a bit expensive, and the size they had NEEDED freezing.
I do not have a freezer... :(

And, I found an locally-grown organic produce store that delivers!
It is ran by Japanese people, and I got my first order box in today :)
What did AJ get?

Kale
Baby Spinach
Lettuce Green
Red Grapes
Organic Dried Prunes, made at the store
Fuji apples


Aye. Happiness.

And then my first Wheatgrass shot!
I got it at booster juice...
and it was actually really, really sweet.
but the after taste was... what i would describe as concentrated 'green'.
yeah. it wasn't too good.
they give it to you with a 'chaser' juice, though; pineapple or orange.


Later, however, I felt ill.
Like throwing up ill.
maybe it was the orange juice.
maybe it was the wheatgrass.

Either way, it'll be a while before I try it again.
xx
AJ

Just a Quick Update.

So I've landed home.
Canada.

Cannot wait to feed myself right, and heal.
I'm very unwell internally. (Lesson learned)

Time to heal!
xx
AJ

Power.

Another big thing I’ve been thinking about a lot; power & control. Specifically over our own lives.
I’ve had many people tell me before that I shouldn’t let the words of other people bother me, that words are nothing but the vibration of air. I, in the mind state I was in back then, interpreted that as a sing of weakness on my part, and further myself and exploited my ‘inadequacy’ in being a functional being. This continued on for a long time until virtually 3 days ago, when I watched a podcast by Philip McClusky (‘Judgement’) & had a close friend of mine tell me that I am in control. Had it been just one or the other telling me the message they both were trying to get across, I may not have been able to reach the mindset I now have. Oh synchronicity.
That exact afternoon, I got into an argument with my father-who, by the way, rarely gets angry and more than often has the valid point. It was over something very small that I have been telling him over and over again to do, and well, in the three minutes we argued, he told me to leave and that he wished not to talk to me for a while. Pretty strong reaction, huh? I was bordering the tears to fall when I told myself that his reaction was irrational, though there was some bad on my part, and that I did not wish to allow someone else to control my emotions so easily. It still took some effort to keep the tears back and stopping myself from reacting to the whole situation, but in the end, it was done.
Later that day, I had a boy comment on the way he thinks I should be acting (“18, not 13.”), a comment I usually get myself devastated over. (I’M-STILL-NOT-GOOD-ENOUGH!!) but I just let that go as well; he wasn’t nearly worth the energy and effort to 1)react, and 2)alter who I am. It was then that the realization hit me; I was beginning to be in control of my life. Since then, though only been a short time, I have felt the power grow inside me- perhaps it was already there and I am just realizing its existence- and feeling more and more whole. Previously I had allowed other people’s comments to get to me so easily; I always doubted myself as I never seem to be quite ‘right’ as a person, I had developed an eating disorder, I had turned into a bitch in order to portray confidence I was rushed to have, I had pretended to like things I in fact disliked- the list is endless. But it’s different now; I am in control of my own life, even the future and the things that happen around me.
Well, perhaps my reactions to the things my sister say needs a little more work. :P

Xx
AJ

Decisions.

How do you perceive food?

In following the new lifestyle, I no longer perceive food as a ‘thing’, but a relationship between different living species. In eating, we inevitably must take the life of other species, but there is an understanding –a ‘deal’, if you will- between the one who is consuming, and the one being consumed. That deal is to spread their off springs as they nourish us. This is the real ‘food chain’ in which nature follows by, and the ‘deal’ that is no longer followed by the modern society. In fact, most of us aren’t even nourishing ourselves with food, but isolated forms of theoretical nutrients that vaguely represent food-like shapes. Does this not explain how we’ve all managed to derange so far off from the nature, and reasons for the dulling of our senses? I think so.

In nature, plants send signals to the consumer when it is most nutrient-rich, and is ready to have its offspring spread. The color changes as to stand out from the green surroundings. The taste and smell is much more appealing to us as to allure us into consuming them. This is an initiation of the ‘deal’. We nourish each other; we keep each other going. This is why the ‘survival of the fittest’ is so emphasized in nature. But with the recent craze with the synthetic appearances, scent and taste, neither the plant nor the consumer is able to keep such ‘deal’. In modern society, any stores who claim to carry food (which is actually closer to chunks of substances that does not cause instant death) will be filled with refined grains. Sugar, flour, and other plant-derived substances, removed so far away from its natural source such that even its #1 consumer, pests, won’t even compete with us. (Thus these refined grains have longer shelf life; one of the biggest appeal in choosing store-bought food.)

With the help of additives, we are deceived into thinking the plants are ready to be consumed, and thus being robbed of our natural senses of food selection. We are ‘dulled’ of other senses that we were born with as well- synchronicity is a common occurrence among the raw vegans and those with diets alike for instance. But is it something we ‘develop’ due to the single common choices we make in methods which we choose to nourish ourselves? The answer should be clear; we do not ‘develop’ these senses. While it is true that we are more likely to connect with those who we develop strong relationships with, we gain back the dulled senses in making a more natural choice thus being closer to the nature. It is also true that, in general, raw vegans and others alike are more aware of the surroundings on a more spiritual level. We do not develop these magic-like senses; we simply drift back towards the way we were in the wilderness once upon a time. The result of consuming such refined produce should be a no-brainer; just look at the Native Americans who chew on coca leaves. They do not suffer from the side effects that come with using crack or cocaine, the refined version of coca leaves, which virtually contain the same active ingredients; we simply cannot tolerate such substances. At least, thankfully, not yet.

When dairy was first introduced into the human race, we did not benefit from them; instead, it made them sick. With the lack of lactase, the enzyme which aids in the break down of lactose, the human body simply did not recognize it as nutrient but an invader. Lactose is switched off in the human body when we reach an age which we no longer need to be breastfed. Since then we have evolved so that our lactase producing switch is never turned off. (This also explains why many Asians do not tolerate dairy as well as other races in the world yet; they never consumed much dairy.) So our body is in fact capable of evolving to accommodate the changes we introduce to our diets. This it self is driving the human races more and more away from nature- the most peculiar concept of drinking breast milk at such old age has become not only the norm, but recommended.

If we were to sit down and have our ancestors over for a meal, they would not recognize what many of us consume as food, let alone their bodies. The simple act of feeding other people may, in fact, cause them to become very sick. Do we really want to continue putting these substances into our bodies in hopes that we will soon evolve to tolerate them?

That is really up to you; but I, as well as your body, have warned you.

xx

AJ

Another post, because there are so many things I want to say.

Writing is my method of choice when it comes to 'organization'.
Lately, it has also become my way of expressing myself. So here goes.

In making my decision to become a RV, I had no doubt that it has been one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. And will remain one of the best decisions I will make. Strangely, the act of telling people that I have chosen so has been a bit of a coming-out-of-the-closet experience. (I am assuming, as it isn't something I've done personally) It isn't a main stream lifestyle that many people are aware of; most probably haven't even heard of it. And people tend to have a very strong opinion on food- and thus revokes strong reaction. There is a great chance in people not at all understanding my choice. I soon realized that it doesn't matter what people think, because I am so sure of this decision; choosing RV isn't just a diet, it's a lifestyle that I have always wanted. It is the first major choice I have made in my life, and it has made me much happier than I had ever been in my life before. It has brought much change, and are they ever positive!
It's amazing how someone can change a life so fast.

I have many people ask "Why?", and "How do you do it?"
Why? because it's something I've always leaned towards, and nothing has ever 'clicked' with me more than the choices I am making because of my new lifestyle. It's something I feel I was meant to be doing. Something so rewarding. It's something I am doing for myself.
And how?
I grew up loving veggie sticks and fruits. My mother strongly dislikes veggies and fruits, and my father was never home, so it would seem rather strange that I would acquire such taste in food. This isn't something I can explain. I have always just known that I feel better eating high-raw.

When I moved back to Canada, I had destroyed my body by eating extreme amounts of processed foods. And though I felt horrible, I ignored such feelings and continued to eat high-processed foods. After about 3 years of such abuse, I naturally began to fill at least half of my plate with salad. I began snacking on fruits rather than mass-marketed sweets. This came in time with me having more time to myself-boarding school doesn't always give you that. As soon as I started drifting back to the way I used to eat, I got back in touch with someone I vaguely knew, but didn't get the chance to actually get to know. It so happens that she has introduced me to the RV lifestyle. She didn't know the existence of such lifestyle at the time, but the diet was essentially identical. I expressed immediate interest, and here I am.
It's always been a natural choice for me, I suppose. I just needed some guidance in finding myself once again.

That was my most significant synchronicity I've experienced thus far-And I've only noticed it now. Many things in life just sits in front of you, and we're too busy looking we don't see what's already there.

xx
AJ

A Change.

Lately, I've noticed a tremendous change in myself-it isn't something I can point out, per se, but is something very significant. I suspect it has much to do with the new lifestyle I have decided to follow, and my journey in reaching that decision. I feel much more grounded. And much more in control of my life. In fact, this is the first time I actively understand that I am, in fact, in control.
Looking back, this has been an amazing 2 months for my personal growth, spiritually. I have truly began to mend my relationship with myself, one that deserves some serious apology to self as well as attention. I have grown conscious of many things I hadn't even noticed the existence of. I have made some true relationships with people who I 'connect' with on a deeper level. I have learned to speak up for myself. I have come to realize that that happiness isn't to be found; it is already here.
The things that didn't make sense to me before this time, I now have a better understanding of. Now I realize that everything that had happened in the past were truly meant to be. The fact that 'everything happens for a reason' truly makes sense to me now. I don't believe in 'coincidences' any more. I understand the world better. And myself.

There are so many things I want to say to the world, but can't express. But it has become clear to me that I needn't be frustrated about that- there are people, people whom you really 'connect' with, who will understand without explanation. One of my most valued relationship has been quite limited to the internet- yet she understands me better than any others I know.

I have learned to appreciate so many things I didn't see before. And most of these have become clear to me in the past 2 weeks I had off for break.
This is one of the best holidays I've had yet.

xx
AJ