Insult??

Teletbubi zurück Winker =Someone who waves back at the Teletubies

Songs <3

I'm dying to know
do you do you like dreaming of things
so impossible? or only the practical
or ever the wild or waiting through all your bad bad days
just to end them with
someone you care about
and do you like making out
and long drives and brown eyes
and girls that just
don't quite fit in...
yeah do you like them?

Story Telling.

I'm watching the sun rise. It's colder than I would like to be.

But I still went out and sat outside to watch the sun rise, cigarette in hand.

What is it about cigarettes that makes me want to talk to someone about things that matter- things that just run through my mind that I want to discuss?

I sometimes get so trapped in my thoughts, I need to find some way out. Discussing helps, but it seems that things I talk about doesn't interest majority of the world. Probably because they're usually what I make of myself- self analyzing 24/7.

Everyone loves talking about themselves. Everyone wants to tell their story. Sadly, most of us won't get that chance as much as we'd like.

Personally, I like hearing other people's story, how they got here- in the telling, they skip parts of their life-intentional or not- and that makes the story more of their own. Unique. What they choose to remember, tell, and not touch alone already starts to define them for the times to come. Have you noticed?

For some people, it's the one time they get to choose. No one will force you to tell a story they have no clue exists. The story teller will choose what they say in that particular version of the story, and when they're ready, they'll add that untold story; a renewed story. They may choose never to share that story, because words escape. Telling a story can feel like having that memory erode-it gets 'renewed', because when the story is told, it adds a new scene to that story- who it was addressed to, their reaction, teller's experience in telling the story, the way story sounds out loud. It's sometimes overwhelming.

I found out someone very significant to me had passed away this spring. I only found out a month later over IM, as I am no longer at the same location as those who knew of the person. I only started to really feel anything once I said it out loud- it affected me so differently when I said it out loud, like proof that it actually happened.

I still cry on some nights, when I memories come up. Plans that were meant to be, but not in time. None of my close friends know- but that's another story.

Next time you have the chance, I encourage you to ask someone to tell you a story of their life-the way they want it to be heard.

xx

AJ

So... Birthday.. eh?

Okay, yeah. My birthday IS coming up, but these are just awesome to look at and dream about.

LOOK AT THEM!!

ahh <3

• Yes.
• Dress?
• I'd wear this out.
• Sexiest Witch Ever.
• Blue <3
• I have been dreaming about these for EVER!
• Corset <3
• Classic and so. gorgeous.
• Everyone needs a gown.

...so how does one become an Agent Provocateur model? I am SO down.

xx

AJ

How to Find Yourself.

You've probably realized by now, that this blog is more about me trying to explain myself to myself.
And that at times, I post things that makes you think I'm this or that. I am constantly psycho-analyzing me. I'm a stranger to me. I'm a pathetic being who needs constant reminders from someone that I still exist and have a significance to someone. I can't change that. I'm still trying to find myself in this ether. But really, aren't most people? They probably do it in a much more elegant manner, though.

These are the things that help me find myself when I'm really lost and no one's around to find me.

My music- especially the songs I've listened to a lot in the recent past. I probably like them for a reason. I still exist.

My passion- Acting, singing, dancing. I'm a surfing, skateboarding, longboarding, snowboarding enthusiast. Tennis. Hugging someone that means a lot to me. Reading. I can't lie about something I like, and there's no way to fake liking something as much as I do. I still exist.

Leaving my room to do something.- you know. go out to do something. anything. unplanned trips are awesome. I only learned this in the past 6 months. You might find a pretty bottle you can take home, wash, and store something in. Like body wash, or detergent. I feel awesome.

Thinking of things you wish you were, or you were more of.- I want to be sexy, not adorable. I want to be more elegant. I want to be able to sing well. I want to be more intelligent. Yeah, I know. It's probably better to concentrate on what I have instead of what I don't, but these things drive me. Gives me a purpose for the time being. I still exist.

Telling someone how much they mean to me.- This isn't something I do to help me realize I still exist. It's something I do to make sure people know how much they mean to me. People assume others know how much they mean to them too much. They don't. And even if they do, it's always nice to hear so, or get a random gift of appreciation. I don't want others to go through what I've been through. :)

xx

AJ

Constant Replay.

As in, I probably watch it too much. But I love it.

Serenade Me These.

Seriously, what girl doesn't want to be serenaded?

Hands Down-Dashboard Confessional



For You to Notice-Dashboard Confessional



In Your Eyes (I Caught fire)-The Used

YES!!

<3

Us Cancarians.

That's Right.

Things I Love Thursday.

(Technically it's Friday already, but I'm a highly non-technical person, so that's no prob. )

• Jillian Michaels: I. am. in. love. I am in love! She is such an awesome person and a trainer, I am finally back on track with fitness thanks to her radioshows, videos and more. Try it :) It's my favorite workout.
  
• Weheartit.com : I am a compulsive photo keeper on computers. Like, I have a million photos of 'things' on my laptop. This site allows me to do that, sans computer memory. Plus, you get to find some pretty sweet stuff.
• etchy.com :Crafts for sale. and you find the coolest things ever! Try searching for tutus. they are the best.
• Water. water water water. mmmmmmm.
• The sun!! Finally. I can't live without sunrays. I blame Indonesia. ahhhh <3
• Manateeeeeeeeeee!! : I laugh. I'm a little bit insane. That guy making that noise is awesome.
• On that note... watch this afterwords if you laughed.
  
• Cuddling. But seriously, who doesn't? :)

xx
AJ

Let's Talk Health.

I'm not that healthy.
I'm going to say that straight up, because otherwise I will be a hypocrite. But I'm a lot more healthy per se than a lot of people around me.

When it comes to health, I'm pretty weird, I suppose... I eat as high vegan and raw as possible, depending on my what my body wants. For instance, I'm not vegan right now because I am training a lot more than I was before trying to put on some muscle. At my point in life, it's too hard for me to get enough protein from a raw vegan source and function. (though spirulina is wicked awesome. try it.) So that's that.

What do I do for food?
I opt for, like I said, as high raw and vegan as possible. I've always loved salads (that's what I wrote down for the pre-school survey of 'favorites'... haha) so it's just like eating whatever I like- awesome. I don't eat meat, with exceptions of times when I am home- even then, very little. I love water. I love green tea, herbal tea, fresh veg/fruit juice.
But the most important thing is to eat things that are LEAST PROCESSED! I try to eliminate as much processed food as possible. because it's gross. I feel gross afterwords.
Anways,
So this is what my average day looks like;

Breakfast.
(Lately)2 boiled eggs with salt & pepper -I usually don't eat the yolk just because I never liked it.
Fruits, usually about 2 apples or oranges
As much water as I can drink
OR
about 700ml of Green Smoothie
OR
Green juice. mmmmm <3

Lunch.
A BIIG Salad.
I like to add an avocado to my salad, and am in search of something that will add 'bulk' to the salad, because I'm starting to get a bit sick of avos. I guess my body's gotten its level of whatever it was in avos that I needed.

Oooh, my current favorite is the red cabbage salad from the Renegade Health Show :)
I change it up a bit, but this is what it is.

• As much red cabbage as you want, it lasts in the fridge for a bit so you can make more than you want for lunch aswell, btw.
• A piece of ginger.
• A clove of garlic.
• Salt to taste. I use himalayan salt.
• Spirulina to taste.
  
• Nutritional yeast to taste. I guess this is processed. please don't shank me.
• Olive oil. just enough to spread around.

To assemble:
Put the red cabbage in the food processor. You can chop it up too, if you'd like. I'm just lazy sometimes, or am short for time. Process till the cabbage is about the size of your pinky nail when short.
Move to a bowl.
Process the ginger and garlic as small as you can get it. You might want to process with the cabbage.
add that to the bowl.
Add the rest of the ingredients, and mix well.
Eat and smile.

mmm.

Dinner:
If I had a big lunch, I'll just have a green smoothie.
or soup. either way.
Otherwise, I'll have a big salad again because I love it so much.
I try to keep my dinner light :)

I snack on nuts and such during the day, too.

Exercises.
I am in love with Jillian Michaels. Seriously. She is awesome.

I usually do about 15min. light weights like resistance band training or free-body weights. If I'm eager to get results, I do weight machines every 3 days or so. but that builds size.
And then I'll do cardio- if I can make myself get to the gym, I'll do the elliptical or the treadmill-I prefer the latter, but your body NEEDS variations. So sometimes, I even do those stepmaster things. When I'm home, I swim.
If I don't want to go to the gym, I'll do workoutvideos I find online, or buy (Jillian Michaels kickboxing workout is love. I love it.) DVDs.
I try to do about 6hrs of total workout in a week, sometimes more, sometimes less.
Tennis, when I'm home, I do about 2 hours a day on top of that aswell.

Mind you. I'm not always this good. with food or exercises.
but I've had a lot of people ask me what I do, so... I posted the v. basics of what I do.
hehe

xx
AJ