And that at times, I post things that makes you think I'm this or that. I am constantly psycho-analyzing me. I'm a stranger to me. I'm a pathetic being who needs constant reminders from someone that I still exist and have a significance to someone. I can't change that. I'm still trying to find myself in this ether. But really, aren't most people? They probably do it in a much more elegant manner, though.
These are the things that help me find myself when I'm really lost and no one's around to find me.
My music- especially the songs I've listened to a lot in the recent past. I probably like them for a reason. I still exist.
My passion- Acting, singing, dancing. I'm a surfing, skateboarding, longboarding, snowboarding enthusiast. Tennis. Hugging someone that means a lot to me. Reading. I can't lie about something I like, and there's no way to fake liking something as much as I do. I still exist.
Leaving my room to do something.- you know. go out to do something. anything. unplanned trips are awesome. I only learned this in the past 6 months. You might find a pretty bottle you can take home, wash, and store something in. Like body wash, or detergent. I feel awesome.
Thinking of things you wish you were, or you were more of.- I want to be sexy, not adorable. I want to be more elegant. I want to be able to sing well. I want to be more intelligent. Yeah, I know. It's probably better to concentrate on what I have instead of what I don't, but these things drive me. Gives me a purpose for the time being. I still exist.
Telling someone how much they mean to me.- This isn't something I do to help me realize I still exist. It's something I do to make sure people know how much they mean to me. People assume others know how much they mean to them too much. They don't. And even if they do, it's always nice to hear so, or get a random gift of appreciation. I don't want others to go through what I've been through. :)
xx
AJ
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